Join Kate, a real ADHD mom, as she ruminates over her visit at her parents house for Christmas.
I write this today as a 44 year old woman visiting her parents' house for Christmas. You wouldn't think these feelings would arise at this point in my life, but they do. Every time.
I have no desire, at this point in my life, for my parents to come to the realization that some of my behavior (both past and present) is, and was a result of ADHD, not incompetence, laziness or foolishness (this is the mature me speaking).
The immature me still gets SO FRUSTURATED when I visit my folks at the holidays. I know they think I'm a wreck. It's in the way they look at me and roll their eyes. It's in the way they speak to me the way I know their expectations of me are lower than my siblings.
Here's what drives me ABSOLUTELY batty - I know they think I just don't try as hard as my older brother and sister. I want to scream, Listen, mom and dad, I try THREE times as hard as they do. I try so hard to get things right! I really do! Please notice that and be proud of me too!
But what they see is a great big fumbling mess come through the door - my bags stuffed full and hanging half open, looking like I've just been camping for three weeks all disheveled and weary my three kids trailing behind me wearing mismatched mittens and old pom-pom hats looking like characters straight out of Annie's orphanage.
AND then, in comes my brother's family - matching holiday outfits, children's hair all washed and shiny and bright, my sister-in-law perfectly accessorized in her new scarf and sweater set carrying a platter of fabulous looking appetizers.Like a magazine photo shoot. Really.
AGH! It's so frustrating to even admit that I still want my folks approval in some form or another. I know I don't need it, but I still must want it, I guess, or it wouldn't bother me so much.
So, to all you parents out there Love your kids. Love the messy ones as much as the neat ones. Love the naughty ones as much as the nice ones. Love the ones who are a fumbling mess and the ones who are shiny and bright. They all just want you to know they ARE trying!