Attention Deficit

It is a myth that poor parenting causes ADHD.  This is a still a sore spot for many parents of non-ADHD children.

Our society is still firmly entrenched with the King James version of the Bible, Proverbs 13-24: He that spareth his rod hateth his son:  but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

While I won’t address corporal punishment in general, it’s important to realize that it is not a good practice to spank ADHD children. ADHD children are wired differently. This is very apparent, for example, when they run through a dark living room at night and stub a toe or crack a shin on a piece of furniture. This practice inflicts serious pain, and one would think they would not repeat this again. However, they frequently repeat this behavior over and over. This is due to the fact that their impulse control overrides their ability to make good judgment – a hallmark of ADHD. So, while spanking them may relieve your frustration, it won’t help shape their behavior and may cause increased family stress. So, while poor parenting may not cause ADHD, it may exacerbate the symptoms.

Perhaps the most successful practice a parent can employ is consistency. At least two fundamental steps are necessary to be consistent; establishing a schedule and establishing a fair set of rules with consequences.

Set up a schedule beginning with a morning wake up ritual all the way to bedtime. Schedule quality time together. A chart may be employed if the child is younger than 12. Establish a fair set of rules with consequences. Typically, time-out works well with younger children. Remember not to get pushed out of your game plan, i.e. stick to your rules and schedule.

Finally, you will be far more successful if you follow this rule: Catch your child being good. Don’t just have consequences when things go wrong, have consequences when things go right! Awarding permission to stay up an hour later on the weekend, renting their own video, etc. are simple but great rewards for getting caught doing something good!