Washed a broken paint can?
You stand in front of your husband. He’s looking you in the eye. You explain that the washer broke today and you need him to call a repair man. He squints at you and asks, “You washed a broken paint can?” His tone is displeased and he glares at you as if you were an alien.
You take a deep breath and slowly enunciate it, “I NEED YOU TO CALL A REPAIR MAN.”
He asks, “For what?” Your head drops. You shake your head in frustration staring at the floor.
ADHD is not just an inability to sustain and direct attention. It often involves a variety of other cognitive impairments. When other conditions occur with ADHD, it’s termed co-morbidity. Co-morbid auditory processing difficulties often occur with ADHD. Attention is a critical component of processing information we hear with our ears. This process can become disrupted when ADHD is present. The ADHD person either hears only bits and pieces of the information, or sometimes the information may seem garbled like multiple radio stations playing over each other.
The dynamics of living with an ADHD person are stressful. Couple that with auditory processing issues and the stress level is often magnified. To be clear, frustration is on both sides; the ADHD husband truly thinks you are not speaking clearly, and you think he’s not listening to you. Feelings of frustration, disinterest, lack of compassion, lack of understanding, and even abandonment sometimes follow.
An ADHD child with an auditory processing condition can also be frustrating. You ask him to go to his bedroom, put his pajamas on, brush his teeth, and get in bed. You go to his bedroom an hour later and he’s sitting on the edge of the bed playing a hand held video game. He never put on his pajamas, never brushed his teeth, and he’s obviously not in bed. Your frustration increases as this behavior appears to be pure defiance. An argument typically ensues. If you understand it’s not defiance, you can approach this situation differently. He just didn’t process what you said after, “Go to your bedroom.” You’ve got to admit, he did make it that far. Multiple step directions are difficult for ADHD persons and should be avoided. Giving simple directions and having the person repeat them often helps get things done efficiently. It will also help you maintain your sanity.
There are steps you can take to improve auditory processing, and they can be life changing. Simply understanding your spouse or child will greatly reduce your frustration, however you can do more.
ADHD does not have to be a struggle. No one knows your ADHD life better than you. No one knows how to improve it better than us. See www.playattention.com. 800.788.6786